Long time no post...

Doing his ABC's at Nana's house
Singing....

I love when he curls his toes...

Smile baby!

This face! I can't stand it!!!!

Yeah I know...it has been a while...Julian is doing great...talking up a storm...finally! He cracks me up with what he says...he is just too darn cute! The house is decorated for Christmas...thank god for that! I always do it the weekend after Thanksgiving...always have...Always will! Things are good over here...he is getting so big...at his last appointment he was 36 inches tall and 36 lbs! A perfect square! LOL

He is doing really well with Potty training...he asks to go to the potty all the time and always goes...he totally amazes me! I will have some more pictures to post in a few days! Enjoy!

He is loving school and I know we made the right choice for schools...I don't call it day care...it is not free play...they have schedule they follow and he is thriving there!

New post...

1st day of school, right before we left...

When we got home...1st time mommy...silly girl!

At the peach Festival in Lewiston NY...he wasn't feeling great that day...you can see it in his eyes..

Labor day... not the best picture but he is so cute in his RL shirt!

Last day of swimming at Nana and Papa's...we no longer need the arm floats WOO HOO!!

Hi all...Well since our last post, Julian has started Early Childhood...we don't call it daycare, because it really isn't daycare...he goes Monday's and Wednesdays from 9-12:30...he just loves it. We have him going to the Jewish Community Center...we have heard wonderful things about this program and all of it is true! He has a great teacher and we are so pleased with everything. We looked at 2 other places, but honestly I didn't want him going somewhere that they were just doing free play. I wanted a school enviroment. He is very bright...has known his letters and numbers for 6 months now, we are working on his speech with his teacher and it is making all the difference. He loves to play with the kids...he just loves kids all together. He is great for a playdate that is for sure...no hitting or anything like that...thank god! And you know what goes along with school is sickness! He had his first ear infection...not fun...but to be 25 months and not have a single antibiotic in him is pretty amazing...even the doctor mention that. But he is a champ!

I hope to post more but...you know how it goes!

August 23, 2003...

So this is the day that I always dread. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon...the clouds were white and puffy...the days prior it was so hot...90 almost every day...this day it was finally a cool day...maybe 70 degrees the sun was shining and there was a nice breeze. The day prior to this day, we had just found out that our baby was dieing...his heart beat was fading and there was nothing we could do about it...except pray. And that is what we did. So on that morning, Jeff went to work to start his new position withe the post office and I was waiting for a client to come to the house.

I had never been busier in my mortgage carrier...it was 2003...a lifetime ago. I was in the middle of a miscarriage so I thought...I had been having contractions all night and morning...once my clients left, they really started to come on strong...I decided to lay down, figuring it would pass...I then felt a pop in my belly...like a balloon...then the next thing I knew...I was delivering my son...I was home alone...there was blood everywhere. The next 8 hours would be the worst of my life. I began to hemmerige (sp) It was very scary. Thank god for my parents and a wonderful Dr. that saved me. From that point forward, I knew somewhere in my heart that I would survive this and be a mother one day...I always knew that I would adopt. Jeff came to the hospital and we soon left to go home to a quite and empty house. As we were driving home, I looked at him and said...his name is Joseph. And that was all that was said until the next day. I didn't want to talk to any one or see anyone...I wanted to be left alone.

The following 4 months were a blur. I woke up everyday and cried from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep. Life was not easy for anyone around me. Come to find out , now looking back at everything...it was Gods way of preparing me for the mother I was going to be come just shy of 4 years later.

Today is a sad day for me. I think of my little Joe and wonder what he would look like, what his personallity would be like...he would be starting school...I see my nephew who was born December of 2003 and think of my little Joe.

But as i sit here in my living room, on a day similar to that day, I hear the laughter of my son in the family room...the singing that comes from his mouth is peaceful.

In order to get here today, we had to be there August 23, 2003. I will never forget this day...and every year get a little bit better. Julian and I will be visiting Little Joe today before we go to my parents for the day. I am so thankful for the gift that God has given us...but I do miss my little Joe. If he were here, Julian would be not...so I don't regret a thing...I am just sad.

This too shall pass....

2 years ago...

Today our lives were forever changed! Julian was born at 2:03pm...it was a sunny day, much like this morning...we were so anxious...he was 4 days late and we never thought he would get here. Jeff had taken off of work, we knew that A was in labor, but she had been in labor for 2 days, so we thought Jeff could take off work and we would head down to see her. Well things move from slow to fast and he was born, we got the call just after 4pm. After waiting and waiting, our baby had been born...we were so ready for our lives to change...we sat around all day, I cleaned the upstairs and his bedroom, vacuumed for the 100th time...and at 5pm, I said to Jeff...let's go for dinner and wait for the call...on our way to dinner our attorney called and said get down there...she wants to see you...we drove so fast and furious to get there...I needed to see my baby...and when I saw him, he was like an angel...he was perfect...everything about him was perfect...ten fingers, ten toes...a cute little nose...dimmples...everything...The first time I held him, I think my blood pressure had dropped...all the stress leading up to the birth. If you have adopted you know what I am talking about...if you haven't...the stress is over whelming...It is sometimes unbearable. Everything you have hoped and dreamed for was in someone else's control not yours. But I knew that A was our birth mother and the baby she was carrying was ours.

Summer of 2007 we called "the summer of Julian" everything we did revolved around him...our thoughts, our prayers, every time we went shopping...everywhere we went...we were always thinking about our boy. The picture on top is the first time I held him...he looks so peaceful, so beautiful, like and angel. Well, our angel baby joe, hand picked him along with God...this I know to be true. We suffered a great deal. Most people who adopt have either been pregnant and lost their babies to MC or still born, some have never been pregnant...on August 23, 2004, I delivered baby joe at home, by myself...and man did I suffer...it was the worst thing ever. From that day forward August was the worst month in my life...until August of 2007...Now August for me is so sweet and wonderful...my other August baby lives on with us...forever with us. I think about baby joe all the time...not every day, but alot...what he would have looked like, stuff like that...but now, I look at Julian and think...thank you God for giving me the strength to move forward and open my heart and let love back in. Julian Parker is more then I could ever has asked for...even when he is crying...or throwing a tantrum...like now while I type this...yes he is spoiled...and he will be forever...he is our only child and will remain our only child...we want to give him everything...the best of everything, I am not going to hide the way I feel and how one is enough for us. When you have been through what we have been though...we are thankful for one...one healthy, smart, beautiful child...hand picked by the Lord...made just for us!

We have picked an Early childhood program for him...one of the best in the area...I am not going to put the name on here, but we are very pleased with the director and the curriculum is outstanding...we didn't want him to go somewhere where it is free play...we want him to not only play but learn and thrive. He is very bright and the teacher said that he will be with the 2.5-3 year olds...we are thrilled...he is just so bright...I can't keep him to myself anymore...he needs to be with other children...he is going to love it. First day of school is the 2nd of September...it is only 2 half days. This is a school he will stay in until Kindergarden...we couldn't be happier! So that is what is going on...hugs and blessings!

2 years ago...we were waiting...and waiting...

Here is the post from 2 years ago from my old blog...It is hard to believe that he is going to be 2 in less then 10 days. Where has this time gone...The first year went by so fast...this past year has gone by fast, but so much has happened...so many milestone...I picked him up from my mother's house after she watched him over night a few weeks ago and he took my breath away...it was like he went from baby to toddler over night...where has my baby gone? He is the sweetest little guy...I truly believe that all children are hand pciked for their family whether it be a bio baby or an adopted baby...they are hand pick...kissed by the lord...I can see the lords kiss on him every day. I useto stand over his crib, before he came home and would pray for the lord to bring us a healthy baby...and he fullfilled all my prayers. After losing a friend to cancer this week...it really makes you appreciate the things you have around you. I will be making entries from 2 years ago through out the next 2 weeks...how you enjoy memory lane!

Monday, July 30, 2007

We're still here...
Yes we are...I guess it was false labor. Oh well. In good time. We are all ready to go so when the call comes we are ready! I have turned over this part over to God. I can't handle the stress anymore. It is killing me. We have no control over this and it is crazy to be this stressed out. I feel so much better this morning after turning it over. What a weight that has been lifted. It is any day now, so I will go to work and continue my same old routine. So I lied when I said you would see my next post annoucning our little guy. It is hard to stay away from blogging. It seems to be the place I can go and let it all out.This summer has been so hot, I feel so bad for those who are pregnant this year. My mother said this is the type of summer it was when I was born. So, we are still here...very patiently waiting...truly we are!

20 year reunion...

Me in 1989....

Patrick and Jeff...Best Buds...



Me and Beth...we go as far back as middle school...

Bill, Me and Jeff...grade school friends...Jeff and I were best friends in High School...

Me and Katie...Best Friends!!

Well it was this weekend and we had a great time! Reconnecting with old friends...there is nothing like it! It was alot of fun...classmates came from all over...one flew in from Norway, some from California, Florida, Carolina's, and most of the other states. It started out at OHD's Beer Tent, then to Saturday to the formal get together and then today a family Picnic, which we are on our way to now.

Even though the only ones who knew I was down 45 lbs. was my hubby and Katie and Patrick, I still felt great! My back held out and I feel wonderful today...my core is getting stronger and stronger everyday! I have been working on the Pilates machine at PT and I feel like crap when I get home but the next day I feel wonderful!

20 years has come and gone, I look at the years and they really have gone by fast...many boyfriends ago, many friends ago, my husband, 6 pregnancies, our little Joe, Julian entering into our life and here we are...with our best friends by our side, our family, each other...nothing can stop us. We have God on our side...he is with me every minute of everyday...helping me make the choices that a healthy woman/wife/mother would make in her life. No toxic friendships, relationships, just pure love for who is here with us now. Ones who have stood by us through think and thin...the joys of bringing home our son, watching him grow in to a wonderful little boy. He will be 2 next month. Who could think that time has gone by this fast...well 20 years did!

Sending you all Hugs and Blessings!

Let the summer begin!

Yes...it is finally here...SUMMER! This year we are looking forward to many playdates in our yard, trips to the Zoo, swimming at Nana and Papa's house, long hot summer days and most of all enjoying the blessing we have! Julian! He makes us laugh all day long! He has a great personality. He is very smart...he knows his ABC's and his Numbers...it really is amazing! And he can read a few words in his books. I thought he was memorizing but we had just pulled out a book he had not seen and he picked out the word "daddy" but said Dada.

The new me is coming out of her shell more. I have lost over 40 lbs and still have more to go, but when I had my a ha moment back in March, it changed everything! So I continue to ask the Lord to help me on a daily basis and so far so good! Diet and exercise really does work!

I will post pictures soon...since I am on Facebook...all my pictures are there...we have started the process of Potty Training...oh what fun!!!

I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH!!!

Trying to hide so he doesn't have to leave nana's and papa's
Hiding again...but with humus on his lips...

Admiring the pool he just swam in...

Swimming with daddy

Yes...I know...I am cool!

Misc. Pictures from this year...

A little bit of this and a little bit of that...

Not sure who dressed this child of mine...can you tell he is growing like a weed! I need to go shopping!!!
Not sure what he was doing here...I was just snapping pictures

Must be something good in there!

DIRT!!!!

More dirt!

We have raised the net 3 times...one more and we are done!

Playing basketball...look out Michael Jordon!

Our dear friend Evelyn is moving to Indonesia in July with her family. So the girls from church all went out for a nice treat in Williamsville. Great friends...good times! Love my girls!

Mommy was on a confrence call on Friday and this is what Julian does when mommy is on the phone... they always run long, so Julian wanted to do something for me and he moved our rug for us! How sweet!

Baby in the sink...

So since Julian has been sick...he will eat and then start coughing and then he trows up! Lovely...so we strip him down and in the sink he goes! He loves it! And honestly...so do I! It is the perfect height for me and my back. He splashs and laughs and sometimes he pee's too! Which makes me laugh too! I just love this age...21 months is a fun age...he is discovering more and more, making me laugh harder and harder. He loves to play with my hair, and now that it is getting longer he loves it more. He is such a sweet and beautiful baby...We are so blessed!

We have friends that expecting their first baby soon...their jouney to parenthood has been much like ours...we pray for a safe delivery and that everything stays on track. They are going through what we went through almost 2 years ago.

My little baby is not so little anymore...but he loves to snuggle and give lots of hugs and kisses...mommy loves those kisses! I am going to try to keep the blog up to date more...it is a great way to share our Julian with so many who love him!

Looking forward to a bunch of play dates this summer. We have a great size yard...my parents have a great pool for a play date too! So we are looking forward to swimming with friends! Hugs and Blessings

OMG...has it been that long?

I can't believe it has been that long since my last post! Well, needless to say things are busy and wonderful! He is now 3 feet tall! 32 lbs...but he has had a nasty cold...but he is getting better. These are some recent pictures of him playing in the yard. He LOVES to be outside and when he is at my parents house he is ALWAYS outside. The pool will be opening soon...this year will be fun for sure! I have been crazy busy with work...I am so thankful that I am able to work from home. It sure has made it easier. He knows his numbers and letters...I know it sounds hard to believe but if you put numbers from 1-20 in front of him and ask him "where is the number 5" He points right to it! He also knows his ABC's too! We have a smart baby on our hands here. Which is good and bad...good that he is so smart...bad because we have to becareful with what we say! LOL I have more pictures from the spring I will post soon. We have a ton on Facebook...that is where I have been...shhhhh don't tell anyone! LOL

Prayers Please...

Hi everyone...I know you know that I am a strong believer in praying...well this is a shout out to all my readers of my blog...and my lurkers...I know I have many! My dear friend Deana is fighting for her life tonight. She has Burkitt's Lymphoma and her body is not responding to the chemo the way we would like it to. So I ask you to pray for her, her family and her friends. Also pray for the doctors who are working with her to find a cure for this horrible horrible lymphoma she has. She has 2 beautiful boys who love her deeply and want their mommy back! We need to pray for her...pray for the strength to get through this fight.

Deana is just an amazing woman. She was there for us during our adoption journey...cheering us on...helping me keep the faith...we live 3000 miles away and have always talked about getting our boys together...If you look at the picture you will see a strong resemblance of Julian and her boys.

Please tonight when you go to bed...ask god to help her, to help her husband and parents keep the faith during this very difficult time...please I ask this of you. Thank you!

Make sure you scroll down...

I know it is in here somewhere!

I have uploaded a bunch of pictures...I love this one!